In my work with hundreds of clients, I’ve seen so many people whose minds were cluttered and filled with self-doubt that they simply couldn’t overcome. Just in case this might be you, I’ve put this information together to allow you to boldly move forward with confidence and reframe the stress of uncertainty, which leads to greater resilience.
This isn’t rocket science or a new discovery. But if you want a different result, something must change. Upleveling your work experience pushes you out of your comfort zone, which quickly causes uncertainty leading to anxiety or stress. To help deal with this life-changing shift, you must be resilient, and that starts with your thinking. You wouldn’t buy rotten fruit at the grocery store. Why tolerate rotten thoughts in your head? Time to take out the trash.
The best of neuroscience training recognizes that when you are ‘distressed’ – meaning experiencing a negative type of stress your brain is more likely to cause you to fight, flight and freeze – resulting in hijacking your motivation.
Distressing feelings include:
Vulnerability
Sadness
Shame
Helplessness
Anger
Embarrassment
Disappointment
Frustration
Can you imagine in a job search campaign or when seeking to up-level your career, you might feel at least one of the emotions in that list? Most people feel all or some combination at various stages in their endeavor to create successful change in their career or in searching for new work.
Ideally, you are alternatively experiencing ‘eustress’ – a positive form of stress having a beneficial effect on health, motivation, performance, and emotional well-being. Your brain allows you to lean into the feel-good stressor with a sense of meaning, hope, or improved vigor. The bottom line is you want more time feeling eustress rather than distress. If you remember anything about my mission, I’m here to support you in finding work that inspires you rather than expires you.
To begin managing your mindset, you have to start with awareness of your emotional state. Recognizing that you are being triggered (and learning your triggers) allows you to ride the wave of your emotion (which usually lasts about 90-seconds).
After the wave of emotion subsides, the next step is to reset – to find a way to diffuse the stress in your body. I recommend a simple process developed by John Assaraf called Take 6 and Calm the Circuits. You can find it here. Scroll down to the first Additional Resource below to learn more about it. This is a breathing exercise that is easy to do and maybe completed in approximately 60-seconds, or longer if you choose.
I’ve borrowed this acronym from neuroscientist Sarah McKay to create a process you can use to stay on top of a resilient mindset. It’s called REFIRE:
R – Reason. What is the reason or goal for having uncertainty? Once the goal or objective is set then you chunk it into smaller steps and tasks, and you celebrate small wins along the way.
E – Engage. Find someone to keep you on track who may offer feedback along the road.
F – Feel. Allow yourself to recognize your emotional state. Recognize when you need to change your state and recognize when you move into a flow state. A flow state is the desired outcome.
I – Imagine. Studies show that visualization of successes and mental rehearsal contribute significantly to a good outcome. Olympic and sports psychologists rely on this to give their clients a leading edge.
R – Repeat. Practice, practice, practice lays down the neural pathways to automate the science of success. Practice helps to assure you drop old patterns and replace them with new ones.
E – Ego. Who are you becoming as you move through the process? What are you learning about yourself? How can you use what you are learning to be more resilient and ultimately successful?
REFIRE allows you to develop a plan to manage the uncertainty of a job campaign or to put yourself in line for a promotion. In addition, the REFIRE strategies help you to keep moving forward with as little downtime as possible due to mindset issues. The bottom line – those who manage their mindset closely have success more quickly and feel better along the way.
Additional Resources
Innercise by John Assaraf (2020) https://amzn.to/3iNiiTo
The Five Second Rule by Mel Robbins (2017) https://amzn.to/3y33pmF
Tiny Habits by BJ Fogg, PhD (2020) https://amzn.to/3eS48Q0
As always, I wish you health and a clear path to offer your professional creativity within a job that’s truly right for you.
Success – at work, at play, everyday!
Lynden